How To: Keep Your New Years Resolutions

Erica Szusterman LMHC
Jan 3, 2017
3 min read

For many of us the New Year is about moving forwards, progress, change... lose weight, date more, find a new job that makes us happy, go back to school, do better in school, be more positive. We start out full of positive vibes, and hope that this year will be different.

However as amped up as we are about our resolutions in January, by March we've lost steam and gone back to old habits.

Why?

It's a few reasons actually:

1. Resolutions aren't just for the New Year

The resolutions we've made are actually just regular goals we'd like to work towards. That means that they're more than about the New Year.

They're things we should be working on every day, all year round.

Waiting to change things you're unhappy with in your life robs you of 364 days filled with opportunities to do things different. Don't just wait for January 1st. Start (and restart) whenever you're ready.

2. Go big and go home

Another common mistake is making your goals too big. Any life change is about baby steps - it's a process that takes time. If you're a big junk food and sweet eater, the odds of you "eating healthier" all three meals and cutting out all sugar are slim past the first few weeks. The odds of you substituting one sugary drink for water this month are much higher.

Take into account how realistic your goal is in terms of your habits now and adjust accordingly.

3. Be specific

In order for you to have a clear picture of what you need to do (and what you want to accomplish), you'll need to be as specific and clear as possible.

DON'T make a commitment to "exercise more".

DO say that you will exercise for 30 minutes 3x per week.

DON'T tell your spouse that you will "spend more time with them this year".

DO resolve yourself to schedule a date night every other Sunday night.

4. There are goals within goals

All goals are made up of smaller goals, and it's the smaller goals that are key to maintaining momentum throughout the next year. Remember that changes are made by taking baby steps and creating small, healthier habits.

For example:

Goal - I want to be more positive this year

To accomplish this there are smaller goals within this broad (ill defined) larger desire.

Smaller goals might start with writing down 3 things you're grateful for every day in January. In February add practicing positive affirmations about yourself every morning in the mirror. In March try some mindfulness techniques or podcasts. Evaluate at the end of every week what's worked, what hasn't and why. Finally, end with either all of the above or other daily routines that help you be the more positive person you want to be.

5. Roll with resistance

What if it's now mid February and you've completely let your goal of exercising 3x per week slip away. You've gone back to pretty much every old habit you've had. You tell your friends, "fuck it", but feel defeated and like things may never change.

You may be giving up too soon.

There are a thousand different ways to accomplish any one goal - you might not be going about it the right way. Try a different method, try changing the goal to cater to where you're at right now and then working up to the bigger goal, try seeking outside assistance.

In terms of exercise specifically, is the gym the right way to exercise for you? Would you feel happier trying martial arts, swimming, or yoga? Would you be more motivated if you went to a group class at a gym or hired a personal trainer 1 day per week. Are you the type of person that needs an exercise buddy? Is 3x per week too much right now? Could you develop a rewards system where you give yourself a treat (spa day, dinner with a friend...) whenever you've met your fitness goal?

Don't torture yourself until you quit. Find what works for you and then go with it.

6. Is this what you really want?

We all want things to be different in our lives, but in order to make it happen, you might have to be a little more committed to the process than you are right now.

There are no easy fixes in life. Nothing is the only thing that comes without work, and in order for things to change in your life, you will need to change.

Feel like you really want something but are still stuck? That's where seeking professional help might come into play. Part of a therapists job is working through what keeps you from making the changes you want in your life, and exploring the patterns that keep you stuck.